You Don’t Have To Love Your Body To Book A Boudoir Session. And Why That’s Okay.
Let’s get real for a second. I’m going to hit the hard truth on something that a lot of people feel, but rarely say out loud.
The mainstream messaging around boudoir and the idea of body positivity often times implies that you need to love your body fully before doing a boudoir shoot. But let me tell you something. When I did my first boudoir shoot, I was at one of the lowest points in my life when it came to self-esteem and body image. I wasn’t planning to do that first boudoir shoot. I went with a friend who was doing one, and somehow, I ended up doing it too. But because of my all of my inadequacies at the time, I was extra reluctant. I had gained weight recently, I felt stuck and isolated in a city I didn’t want to be living in, I couldn’t remember the last time I felt sexy, or strong, and confidence was no where in sight.
“I’ll book a session with you when I lose 10 pounds.” “I could never wear lingerie, I hate my stomach.” “I wish I looked like her.” (Said while pointing to a woman in my portfolio who, by the way, had the exact same insecurities I’m listing right here.)
These are the fears and hesitations I hear from people all the time. And trust me, I get it, because I said them once too. But what if we flipped the script for a moment? What if the point of boudoir wasn’t just about celebrating a body you already love, but what if it helped to build a relationship with it? What if it gave you the tiniest spark of confidence that then helped you to hold your head a little higher and start to see yourself differently? Boudoir doesn’t always have to be about the days you feel amazing in your skin (those days are of course great too!) It can be about the days that you aren’t. Because sometimes when you allow yourself to step into that vulnerability, it’s exactly what starts to rewire things, just a little bit.
I know this can be a hot take, but guess what, this is what it did for me. When I did my first boudoir shoot I would have never dreamed of getting in lingerie for another person, or even myself. I wasn’t looking at my body in the mirror with a kind narrative, and I certainly wasn’t my own biggest hype woman. But here’s the thing: after I got my photos back, I wanted to show those bad boys to anyone who would look! I couldn’t believe the person I was looking at in those photos, and I absolutely didn’t start off feeling that way before the shoot.
Accepting our body is not a linear journey, it’s a messy one. As women especially, our bodies change as we age, as we have children, as we are exposed to different environments and daily stress and anxiety (which let’s let honest ladies, we ALL have stress and anxiety in some way shape or form). And let’s be even more real. Growing up surrounded by television, ads, airbrushed magazine covers and now AI generations that just seem too perfect. This certainly didn’t help us figure out what “sexy” really meant (and sexy according to WHO?!)
I am here to tell you that you are not broken if you feel insecure. I am here to tell you that every person I have met, myself included, has been, or still is, insecure about something or other related to their body. I am also here to tell you that boudoir is one of the best tools that I have personally found for connection and compassion to my body, and I often hear this from most of my clients as well. When I show people the back of my camera during a photoshoot and their jaw drops open and their eyes light up, I make sure to mention that the photo they are looking at is actually them, unedited, raw out of the back of my camera. Sometimes it just takes seeing it through someone else’s lens to understand that. And when you have the proof, the physical evidence right there in your hands, it’s really hard to disprove.
I encourage you to reach out if you’re curious, scared, or even unsure. Just start with a conversation. I promise you I am a safe space for that.